The Happy SMUdent Grad lo!

Passing on…

Watching Year 4s go through their final semester is like watching the last lap of a 4x400m race. Some of my peers have zoomed through from laps 1 to 4, finishing at the top of the podium as have always been expected. Some have struggled through the first 3 laps, but the final runner decided to make up for the rest of it by giving a stunning performance.

As for me, my fourth runner needed to be dragged past the finishing lines by her fellow runners, and thrown like a heavy sack of rocks past the finishing line. But I finished the race, nonetheless.

I guess each of us can think of our Year 1,2,3 and 4 selves as the respective runners in the 4X400m race. Each runner performs his/her best and passes the baton to the next runner. Every student has his or her own varied performance: the very best, of course, had been fast and steady, the ones we admire.

But if you are like me, you’ve probably experienced some laps where you performed much better.

Some laps where it’s a drag just to take the next step.

Some laps on fire.

And, some laps where you dropped the baton, and disappointed everybody.

Year 4 has been sort of like that for me. Thankfully, I had gotten a pretty good head start in Years 1-3: being in Muay Thai, doing decently enough in academics by a combination of strong motivation, hard work and very good luck. But Year 4 has been a struggle: a lack of purpose, and anxiety about the future. At least, luck remained by my side by granting me exceedingly wonderful group mates, who have been my main source of motivation this semester (pictures later on).

On this side of the finishing line, it feels much better. My head has started to clear and my heart beat has started to go down. I can look back more clearly now. And I know, perhaps, my final semester has been disappointing… but you know what?

We finished the race.

And so have many others around me.

My friends’ graduation photos and thankful dedications can’t help but smile. Some have flown off on their well-deserved graduation trips and I have just come back from mine (in JB. Still counts). Each of us have come a long way, and we don’t know the full story of how each of us have travelled. The ones who were steady all the way remain inspirational. The ones who’ve struggled through deserve respect. The ones who won some, lost some- why, they are just like most of us, even if we didn’t know their struggles.

So as I sit here on the track, panting and recovering from the race I have just run (being one of the last to cross the finishing line on the very last day and time slot of exam possible), I smile and give thanks to this wonderful journey I have been privileged to go on. I have many coaches (professors), team mates (friends) and supporters (family) who have made the completion of this marathon possible. Now that I have the luxury of time, I hope to catch up with each of them in person and give thanks.

So, what’s next?

I will be starting work as an intern at SMU’s Office of Advancement and Alumni Relations on Monday. Ya, go figure right? I’m like some overly attached girlfriend to SMU. That’s not it, I’m serving my bond for my final year scholarship for three months. So I will still be hanging around the glass campus for a while, albeit enjoying the view from the Admin Building. Haha.

Personally, I feel, that once I’ve had enough rest, once I’ve celebrated enough, it’s time to get back in the race- and help the next batch along. I will be starting some archiving work on this blog soon, so that my posts are easier to access. Will be clearing the backlog of ideas I had meant to put out there but never had the time to- when you’re down in the dumps it’s pretty hard to help others up. And then after that I will probably just leave the blog as it is.

No matter which lap of the race you are in, Year 1, 2, 3, 4 or 5 (respect), do enjoy the race as much as possible. Being Year 4 is overrated- it is as enjoyable as any other year, depending on how much effort you put into it. There are some perks, but also some trade-offs- which can be said for every other year.

Ok so now- pictures!!!

Thank you Lee Kong Chian for making my school possible!!! I’m sorry for calling the school SOB for years instead of LKCSB…

Special shout-out to the one of the best project teams in my 4 years who ended the semester with me. From L-R: The Thai, The SMUdent, The NUSdent, The German, and The Singaporean Son. Much diversity. So SMU. Wow.

Sometimes I judge my group mates…

… but we still have lots of fun together!!!

Mandatory SMU Jump Shot!

“Honey, Look!!!”

K lah proper group photo.

 Photo credits to Ooi K.S., the handsome gentleman on the right-most of the group pictures (A result of running over from the self-timed, remote control camera).

The First Week: Confessions of a Year 4

Current mood: Sick and hungover from NYE, Week 1 and BFF’s 23rd birthday party.

Term 2 has a distinctly different flavor from the beginning of Term 1.

Unlike Term 1, there is no orientation period for the Spring term. We are thrown straight into work from the first week of the New Year, regardless of whether we have properly recovered from our NYE hangovers, or from the roller-coaster ride that was the previous sem, for that matter. Perhaps those that have it the worst are my fellow seniors returning from Winter exchange: not only do they have to re-adjust to the humidity, but also the fact that they have to study and actually attend classes.

Term 2 has a different effect on each batch:

For the Not-so-fresh-men, they are no longer riding on the high of orientation camps, although some may have acquired a whole new bunch of soul-mates during their OCSPs in December. Most would have been properly hazed by Term 1, but a fair few would also have secured an Exco position or another. From facing a field of endless possibilities, many would have found one niche or another in school- and that’s important.

Their status would also have changed since 20th December 2013- their first ever GPA for SMU is revealed. Like it or not, friends are ranked, and I have known that to change the dynamics of study groups. Beware of that.

In any case, instructors show no mercy. We are fully expected to know how academics work at SMU, so by Week 3 we will start having assignments due. The same goes for the sophomores, many who would have taken on heavier responsibilities in their co-curricular activities and assumed their term as the new year begins, making it harder to juggle: if so, you are not alone. It was also time to make bigger decisions on which majors to take.

I wasn’t here for my Year 3 Term 2, but I knew by then I had enough of SMU and was ready to explore a new environment, otherwise known as EXCHANGE!!!. I imagine “jaded” would be a good blanket description to some extent or another for these poor “juniors“.

But nobody had bigger decisions to make than the graduating class of Year 4s (or 5s).

I came close to hating my exchange: Confessions of a Year 4

Throwback Thursday- May 23rd 2013, Lugano, Switzerland.

This blog is called The Happy SMUdent, but the ironic thing is that, personally and for a while now, I have put happiness in the background. And instead, I have consciously put growth on the center stage.

I think a lot of us put pressure on ourselves to be happy, and despair when we face an inability to achieve it. I felt this especially when I came back from exchange- because despite all the photos, despite the all the good times, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I did not enjoy exchange. 

Blasphemous, right? A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel to exotic places and only having to pass modules. An experience denied to the very parents who funded us, as apparent by frequent comments of “你是去读书，还是去旅行？(Do you go there to study, or for a holiday?)

But I was naïve, you see. Friends who post their happy photos of suntanning in Croatia, feasting in Munich and partying in Ibiza never photograph themselves crying from homesickness. They never tell you what happens after the snow melts into dirty grey puddles of water, and they don’t video how out of place you could feel in a country where nobody understood your accent.

(Notice I used the word “could”, not “would”, because I do have many friends who felt perfectly accepted and enjoyed their experience thoroughly.)

And lastly, I don’t know whether anyone can relate to this, but it was certainly an issue for me- the guilt at the back of my mind for spending my mother’s hard earned money traveling to places, which she herself has never been able to, nor will ever be likely to see.

And so when I came back I was decidedly unhappy, and I went into a depressed state trying to reconcile with my ill feelings and people’s expectations of happy stories. Sure, I do have many happy stories to offer- look at these photos!:

Striking a pose in Bellinzona, Switzerland

Wrapped up in Lucerne, Switzerland

Enjoying the sunshine and rolling down the hills.

But then there is also this photo, a very private one, that other people don’t get to see:

Don’t be fooled by the smile. This is the aftermath of an emotional break-down.

Look closely: my eyes are red and I have wrapped myself up in a blanket and a fetal position. This is me after I had cried my eyes out on the first day, when after a 16-hour flight, I lugged 40kg of baggage for 3 full hours by myself around the hills of St Gallen. Jet-lagged, cold, locked out of my house for one hour, I was at the point of exhaustion. After sobbing for a good ten minutes, my then-boyfriend managed to snap a photo over Skype of a smile he coaxed out of me. That miserable experience pretty much set the tone for the rest of my exchange.

So the myth is broken: Exchange isn’t always the perfect experience you expect it to be.

The First Day: Confessions of a Year 4

Lim kopi only.

It’s good to be back! As a Year 4, this is my 6th time experiencing the “First Day of School” high- everyone is dressed incredibly well, freshies are all out to impress, and squeals of “Hiiii how are you!!!” are heard everywhere. I am fortunate enough to be a Teaching Assistant for the very first time in my SMU life this semester,  for Creative Thinking at that, so once a week I get to become very young again for one and a half hours.

School is in full swing. The Tea Party queue is back. The one-and-a-half-hourly rush of students going from class to class recommences. CCAs are filling up the T-junction and CCA halls with sounds at night again. I can only imagine how a freshman feels: eyes wide open, negotiating the overwhelming activities, looking out for friends they made in the past month of endless camps: “This is university life.”

The Year 2s, sophomores, can now bask in the fact that they are no longer the youngest and most inexperienced. This new-found seniority is readily enjoyed as they become facilitators, class part initiators, and CCA ambassadors.

Juniors by this time are pretty jaded and annoyed that they are juniors even though they have already survived SMU for 2 years. Fresh from internship, looking forward to exchange, managing an Exco position, they are pretty much in the zone.

That leaves us, the Year 4s. Seniors, in every sense of the word. But where the hell did all the Year 4s go?

Year 4 is not too late to join New CCAs!

Hi guys! Sorry for my absence in the last 2 weeks, you see, I have been busy catching up on everything I have missed while I was away on exchange.

Returning from exchange, and entering Year 4, makes me feel like a freshman all over again. Because I have recently joined SMU Climb Team for their recreational training, as well as the SMU Muay Thai Fight team trainings.

At the new gym!

Ahh punching bags, how I have missed kicking your ass.

Well, Muay Thai is nothing new to me, and I have been with the school club for the most part of my 3 years, going on to the 4th. But too much Italian gelatos and Swiss fondue had transformed my figure into much like a punching bag itself. I approached the training with apprehension, and true enough all my juniors can now kick my ass. It was a humbling experience.

But more importantly, by Year 4, most of us have pretty much stepped down from any Exco positions. We go from the overseer to a mere member once again, and we are able to freely enjoy the sport as a care-free member all over again while the next batch stresses around us. Isn’t that just like a freshie, with the added bonus of “been-there-done-that”?

And because I now have so much spare time, I decided to join a brand new CCA altogether- SMU Climb Team!

Conquering the school wall.

That’s me at the top left corner! My friends are obviously more glamourous than me.

I’ve always wanted to join since Year 2, or to be honest, since I was climbing on top of HDB parapets when I was 6 years old (don’t try that anymore, kids). And I figured, Year 4 is not too late to join a new CCA. If anything, it is our last chance! SMU has more than 100 CCAs- shouldn’t we try out any many as we can (at student price) ??? YOLO, and YOLO as an undergraduate- figured I’d make the most out of it.

Another facility I’m making use of is our awesome gym:

Shoutout to Sonia Mao whose lovely face greets me whenever I enter the gym.

Welcoming me with open arms. Ready to catch me when I fall off the treadmill (not).

I mean seriously. This gym has everything, even a freakin’ Ladies Corner. It has quite a good view (not talking about the guys who work out, sorry boys), showers with hot water, student staff, all sorts of equipment, and decent music playing. And it’s for free. I’d travel down from Woodlands just to use it.

So yes! I have Muay Thai Fight Team training on Mon Wed Fri, Climb Team on Tues and Thurs, and I gym if any of them gets canceled. Will be a little busy for a while, but don’t worry, I will be updating this blog once I’ve settled into the schedule. Sports is my kinda thing, and boy am I glad my university has all the facilities I need. Even a pool. It’s a joke, but I’m still impressed they managed to squeeze that 50m bathtub on the rooftop of Admin Building.

Not too shabby, points for effort, and nice view.

Speaking of YOLO, I have also recently dyed my hair in 3 colors. But that’s a post for another time, although I won’t be touching the SMU swimming pool for a while. It’s also full of young blood right now on their camps (FRESHIES).

Ciao!

xoxo,

ivyWAH